How Drug Addiction Affects the Entire Family

An estimated 1 in 8 children lives with a parent who had an active substance use disorder in the past year. The effects of addiction on a child depend on a few things:

• Whether they come from a single-parent or two-parent household
• Whether one or both parents struggle with addiction

Parents who have a child with an addiction problem have a unique set of difficulties. They’re constantly plagued by worry about their safety and wellbeing. They may feel responsible for their child’s path and wonder where they went wrong.

Siblings of addicts are sometimes referred to as the “invisible victims.” These siblings feel various emotions like confusion, frustration, shame, resentment, and more. Parents tend to be consumed by the sibling with the addiction problem. Their ongoing and increasing issues draw attention away from the other children. They often end up taking the sidelines.

When a person struggles with addiction, each family member develops their way of handling the problem. Clinicians notice five distinct roles that family members may take on to cope with their loved one’s substance use. Some families have a person for each role, others have members who adopt multiple roles, and others may not have certain roles in their family.

The six family roles in addiction are a simple way to observe how family members of addicts deal with their loved ones. None of these roles are healthy ways of working through the difficulty, but each makes sense given the circumstances and effects of addiction.

Just like addiction causes a variety of effects on the person using substances, it leads to another set of the impact on the family. The exact outcomes depend on things like which family member struggles with addiction, the age of the children, or whether children live with their parents. Not all families experience the same effects, but oftentimes they are at least somewhat similar.

It isn’t cheap to support an active drug habit. Many addicts funnel all their money toward getting the substances they need. They may have a hard time keeping a job, so they ask for money, food, shelter, or other forms of support. Some might ask for help paying for a treatment facility or other program.

Families tend to take on financial responsibility for an addicted family member. Parents allow children to live with them while trying to get “back on their feet.” They pay for lawyers or post bail if legal troubles start. They’re all too familiar with the balance of how to help an addict without enabling them.

As addiction progresses, people become unpredictable and difficult to deal with. They are erratic, frustrated, and angry, lashing out at those closest to them. Drugs and alcohol affect an individual’s inhibitions. People are more likely to act out while under the influence.

One of the most profound ways addiction affects the entire family is the higher risk of abuse. Whether it’s emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, the risk increases. There is a higher likelihood that family members may experience violence at the hands of an addict.

Another impact of addiction on the family unit is the chance that another family member will also turn to substances. Children who grow up with a family member that abuses drugs are more likely to turn to substances. They follow the example set for them. Siblings might use substances to escape the chaos in their house.

Often, substance abuse “runs” in families. The chances of having more than one person in a family with a problem are high. This creates another pattern of addiction, and the cycle starts all over again.

It’s difficult to cope when a loved one struggles with addiction. You may feel like you’ve tried everything to get them the help they need. When your attempts are unsuccessful, though, it’s painful and disheartening, to say the least. Even if your loved one chooses to continue using substances, finding help for yourself may be one of the best choices.

Individual therapy is the first line of defense for someone trying to find help as the family member of an addict. It’s simple to seek out therapy if no one else in the family wants to look for help. Individual therapy focuses on you, your goals, and the things that keep you from achieving them.

It’s also a useful avenue to explore the effects of your loved one’s addiction. Therapy helps you identify which roles you took on to cope and how you can overcome those harmful ways of operating in the world.

Family counseling is a great choice for multiple family members trying to find help. Bringing multiple members together allows clinicians to watch family dynamics play out in a safe and supportive environment.

Family counseling is useful whether the addict is interested in participating or not. Your family can heal without the involvement of the loved one using substances. Focusing on your healing instead of directing attention outward is a way to take back your power. It allows you and your family to recognize that you still have control over many areas of your lives.

Having a family member with an addiction problem is painful, confusing, and overwhelming. The situation is not hopeless, though. Treatment facilities can help people with substance abuse problems and the families who love them.